Getting married to myself – the idea

hands-making-a-heart-in-the-sunsetI decided to reframe a quiet time in my usual busy workschedule as a mini-sabbatical of three months and asking myself the question; How might I use these three months in a meaningful way?

“OMG! Are you serious?!” were my first thoughts, after an idea came to my mind in a moment of inspiration. The idea was: “I would like to get married to myself”. It gave me goosebumbs all over. I felt frightened and excited at the same time. When my body gives me this kind of reactions to an idea…I know there is something interesting to discover.

I Googled “marry myself” and found out I’m not the only one with this idea. In 2003 there was a dutch woman, Jennifer Hoes, who married herself in a real weddingdress with an official (although not legally binding) ceremony. I also found a woman in the US, Dominique, that conducted self-wedding ceremonies at Burning Man Festival in 2011. And since 2012 more individual stories of self-marriage occur, mostly by women, incidental by men.

The reason why people get married to themselves varies, from celebrating being a happy independent single to a broader vision of making a statement about selflove for a better world.

So what is my WHY? When I think of it, there are several reasons;

  • I love learning and strongly believe in experiential (playful) learning. I feel that the journey towards this selfmarriage is going to be a powerful learningexperience, because it feels weird and out of comfortzone and that’s where the magic happens…(at least that’s what I usually tell my students).
  • I’ve always had a fear of commitment (or abandonment). This would be the ultimate commitment to myself to stay true and close to myself.
  • I’m actually in the startingphase of a new relationship with a very lovable guy and I don’t want to make the same ‘mistake’ of becoming emotionally dependent on a partner and losing (parts of) myself in a relationship.
  • I’ve always been very good at neglecting bad news and focussing on my own little world of positivity and success. I feel more and more impacted by the harsh worldly reality. I believe in the need of being the change you wish to see in this world (Ghandi), so therefore self-love and self-compassion would be a good start.
  • I think a lot of people (like me) have difficulties feeling and saying that they love themselves, and that’s sad. Hopefully I will fall madly in love with myself and sharing that experience will possibly encourage and inspire others.

Lots of love,

Annemarie X

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8 responses to “Getting married to myself – the idea

  1. Beautiful! Thank´s for sharing! Great way to address what the world need; more love, compassion, respect. Can that happen in any other way than through loving our selves, having self compassion and self respect?
    Enjoy your lifelong, playfull marriage :-)!

    • Thank You Trude. We all know the cliche’s of having to love yourself first and being the change, but how does that actualy feel and how do you accomplish that? I hope this journey towards selfmarriage will bring me some answers. I guess we’re all on this path in our own ways (and there are many many roads one can take). X

  2. Pingback: Selfmarriage – ‘the coming out’ | Annemarie Steen

  3. Pingback: Selfmarriage – The proposal | Annemarie Steen

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