Selfmarriage – The proposal

One of the comments on my previous post on the idea of selfmarriage and the reactions I got from friends and family after coming out with this idea, was: Congratulations on your engagement! I replied back: “Thanks, but I’m not engaged yet, because I haven’t proposed to myself officially.” So I thought that would be a good next step: the proposal.

img_1594I went for a walk (as I often do from my home) and at a very nice and quiet place with trees and a little stream of water I popped the question, after puzzling a little with the wordings; “Do you want to marry me?” or “Do I want to marry me?”

The answer was not a happy and wholehearted YES! It didn’t feel 100% right at that moment. When would you ask someone to marry you and wish to spend the rest of your lives together? I guess a strong feeling of love for this person and trust that you will grow together and excitement about the adventure. From the asking point of perspective I like myself, but unconditionally loving myself feels a bridge too far. From the receiving point of perspective,  I felt pressured and fear came in. Apparently I don’t trust myself completely on this. Also the question came in: Who’s marrying whom? So who’s asking?

I decided to be ok for now with an arranged marriage status, because there is definately a part of me that is really excited about this journey and what it will bring.

Lots of Love,

Annemarie

 

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2 responses to “Selfmarriage – The proposal

  1. I like where your going with this, Annemarie. It’s become a gedanken experiment, and you’re allowing it to get as detailed, as real as you can imagine it to be. Run with it, by all means. And mazel tov on your engagement.

  2. Pingback: Selfmarriage – Who’s marrying whom? | Annemarie Steen

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