Monthly Archives: June 2017

Gratitude 2.0

I’ve known the power of gratitude for a long time. I often ask myself the question: What am I grateful for, or note down the things that go well. From Positive Psychology Research there is proven science that writing down 3 things a day that you are grateful for or that went well, for 30 days in a row, will enhance your overall levels of happiness after six months, even after quitting doing the exercise after the initial 30 days. (Seligman)

In my trainings, I sometimes have participants ask eachother “what are you grateful for” and repeat this question for at least one minute, so you get past the obvious big ones (good health, nice house, family, children) and get into the small, but also significant ones (sunshine, good coffee, smell of a flower, etc)

Last week I had an insight that being grateful for the things that go well, is easy, but focussing one way only. What would happen if I also could be able to be grateful for the things in my life that are uncomfortable or painful? Because looking back on your life’s experiences, it’s often our hardships that come with our biggest lessons that enable us to move forward in ways that feel so much better and more aligned with who we are.

I tried it, doing the same exercise with someone else asking me “what are you grateful for?” over and over again. I started out with some positive ones and then  shifted to negative experiences. The result was eye-opening. All that ever happened and happens in my life is part of my whole life-experience and I can be grateful for that. It brought me a sense of acceptance and feeling peace with everything that IS.

What are you grateful for?

Lots of Love,

Annemarie Steen

 

 

To Be or to Wannabe, that’s the question

Last week I attended a 3 day seminar with Neale Donald Walsch, author of the bestselling Conversation with God books. An insight that stuck with me, was his question;

What are you trying to BE, while you do what you do? All of our actions, big or small, are an effort in BEing something. So why do you wear the clothes you wear, why are you doing the work you do, why are you having the friends you have. What does this say about who you are trying to BE? So why am I writing this blogpost? I am trying to BE of value, sharing my insights, trying to BE inspirational, trying to sound full of wisdom 🙂

Most of us are living our lives from the paradigm of HAVE – DO – BE

What do I want/need to have? For instance a diploma of some sort, to be able to DO a job that matches this diploma, in order to BE succesful or happy or rich or worthy, etc. Instead, life works the other way around. We got the paradigm backwards.

Life works from the paradigm of BE – DO – HAVE. After all, we are not Human Doings, but Human Beings.

Be the change. We have freedom of choice to express and experience whatever states of BEing we like. Choose one or two states of BEING that you wish to experience and start expressing them. From there you will get inspiration for DOing things that are in alignment with this state of BEing and this will result in HAVE’s that match.

How to find your desired states of BEing? First ask yourself this question often. What am I trying to BE now, and now, and now? Secondly, finish the question; I’m feeling most joyful, energized and fulfilled, when I am BEING…Thirdly, look at the contrast in your life. Take the opposite of what you don’t want to experience (anymore).

What about not believing that you ARE this BEing already, even without DOing anything. Start your days with the intention of BEing in this state of BEing and see what happens from there. Good Luck!

Lots of Love,

Annemarie

 

Falling Forward

Today I had to admit to myself that I am suffering from a relapse in old pain, thoughts and behaviour. I recognized the signals for a while, and was kind of hoping they would dissapear by themselves…NOT. When you ignore or try to suppress something, it only gets bigger. I know that really accepting (and feeling) the situation as it is (“SHIT! I’m in a damn! relapse”), is the only first step on my way through this. Relapse is often associated with addiction and the use of drugs or alcohol to get a relief from the underlying pain. But in my case, when I refer to the term Relapse, it’s about falling back into old patterns of thought.

Just as I thought I had mastered this thing called LIFE and LOVE,  feeling totally happy and in flow just six weeks ago, it bit me in my tail again. My thoughts were taking me in a downward spiral, feeling like a failure and that something is seriously wrong with me, that I had been fooling myself into believing this huge personal growth that I had made. It felt like falling all the way BACK.

After a big cry I got this insight. In the law of life, there is no such thing as falling back. Everything is constantly in forward or expanding/outward motion. So this idea of falling BACK does not exist. Reframing my state into falling FORWARD helped to see that I’m still in a miserable state, but one that I can fall forward in. Another opportunity for growth, to explore yet another layer or aspect of my same old patterns.

And a good opportunity to bring my selfwedding vows (LIEFDE) into practice, because I’m sure they will be helpful to get through this.

Listen to my body

Invest time in myself & my relationships

Emotions (all of them) are welcome

Focus positive, unless something negative calls for attention. Focus on the NOW.

Dare to be myself and show myself.

Energy is everything.

Lots of Love,

Annemarie