Tag Archives: connecting

Selfmarriage – ‘the coming out’

selfdoubtA few days ago I wrote a blogpost sharing the idea of Getting married to myself. The reactions so far from the people that know me, have been surprisingly enthusiastic. It’s exactly a week ago, that just after this idea popped up, I called my parents. I wanted to know whether they would come to a ‘wedding’ ceremony with myself. They had to laugh and thought it was a bit crazy, but told me that if this is important to me, they would support me. My father even joked about walking me down the aisle and giving me away. The second person I told was my current boyfriend. He reacted very open. That he doesn’t quite understand it, but that he feels this is clearly moving me, and if this is my way towards more love (how can you oppose to that) that he supports me. Ofcourse he also had the thought: “What about me?” and feeling left out of a very personal process that is mine. Yet, I feel that his openness and acceptance have brought us closer together already.

Then, on friday, I had a Christmas Dinner at THNK (where I work as a facilitator). A few colleagues that I know well, reacted so enthusiastically to this idea, that I decided to share the idea with the whole group of people there, making it something ‘out there’ and real. It moved from being just an idea to being a plan with a deadline. AAAAARHG! (that’s my fear of commitment kicking in). At dinner, I was sitting next to a girl I didn’t know and we had a very open and personal conversation. It seems the idea opens up people around me and I feel grateful for that. For instance, yesterday I called my father for his birthday and for the first time in my life we had a meaningful conversation on the phone (he hates phonecalls) that lasted more than 15 min.

Both of my long term ex-boyfriends have reacted in their own playful way’s. The first sending me a textmessage saying that I have to divorce him first, because we got kind of married in a fake weddingceremony by our friends in Spain in 2003. The second, by saying that he already bought a suit for my wedding, showing a picture of him in a flashy red suit.
barbie-ken

I also asked my 7 year old daughter (who’s asking a Barbie Bride and Ken Groom for Christmas) what she thought of the idea of getting married to myself. She thought it is funny and a little bit weird and also sweet for yourself. On my question if she would ever consider getting married to herself her answer was very straightforward: “Ik hoef niet met mezelf te trouwen, want mijn lijf weet gewoon dat ik lief ben.” English: “I don’t need to get married to myself because my body already knows that I’m loveable.”

WOW! I’m feeling happy and proud that she can say this with such confidence, like it is the most normal thing on earth (and so it should be!). And I’m feeling sad that I can’t. At least not yet. And it makes me question my motives. What do I need to prove to myself and to the rest of the world with this idea…?

Time for a walk…

Lots of Love,

Annemarie

 

International Blowing Bubbles Day

Hi,

Two years ago, I came across a tweet that mentioned International blowing bubble3Blowing Bubbles Day on May 6 (an initiative from a dutch artist Flip Looyen). I tought: “Hm, nice”, but went on with reading other stuff. That night I woke up, and felt the need to do something with it. I have a strong vision on the connecting power of Playfulness, so I thought to apply Blowing Bubbles to prove my point. I thought of a location where people are not connecting and decided on the bus/trainstation of Eindhoven (Netherlands) at 7am. Then, I sent out a tweet inviting others to join me on May 6th to Blow Bubbles on this location. And in case nobody showed up, I brought 83 sets of Blowing Bubble stuff (all I could find in my hometown of Veldhoven to hand out for free.

So what happened?

To my surprise, a lot of people reacted with fear (around 50%). Either not accepting my offer, or very fast putting their blowing bubble set in their bags with the excuse “nice for my kids”. Another large group of people (around 40%)held the blowing bubble set in their hands, not opening it, looking around what other people were doing. Some of them needed a little encouragement before trying. When they did (leave their comfortzone) they reacted with high energy. And there was a small group of people (around 10%) that immediately reacted with joy and started to play with it. Surprisingly a lot of people in function (railwaypolice officers, taxidrivers).

My (not validaded) conclusions after this experiment;

blowing bubbles1) YES, Playfulness connects. If you look at the picture, you see two guys playing and a third is watching them with a smile. There is a connection there.

2) Playfulness is something that a lot of adults perceive as scary, not done, childish, etc.

blowing bubbles23) While working (in stead of waiting) we tend to be more open towards strangers and like a Playful distraction/intermezzo.

My vision is still “Playfulness Connects”, but my mission after this day became “To invite adults to leave their comfortzone and dare to be Playful”

So what will you do on International Blowing Bubbles Day on May 6th 2013?

More info: http://www.internationalblowingbubblesday.wordpress.com

With playful greetings,

Annemarie Steen

(Dutch Newspaper Eindhovens Dagblad invited me to blog for a week about this International Blowing Bubbles Day two years ago: here’s the text in dutch: http://www.steentrain.nl/attachments/File/Blog_ED_Bellenblaasdag.pdf)